atermoiements

Someone please slap some sense into me
Don’t walk on egg shells around me
Tell me how it is without relent
Of course I’ll cry
And say how much I hate you
But in reality
I appreciate you for being honest
Break me apart
Then heal me with your presence

Nap.
Homework.
Shower.
Eat.
Homework.
Don’t cry.
But if I need to cry, I’ll do so.
And I need to cry.
Like really bad.

I rather have a truck hit me than have you slit my heart open.

My heart hurts
My body is exhausted
My hands are calloused
My mind is blank yet very discombobulated
My eyes are drained

I want to say so much but cannot
I just cannot find the right words to convey how sad and broken I am
It is as if I have internalized the message
I wish I could say I anm not broken and sad

Everything is so temporary
Nothing is ever everlasting and it bothers me
Why can my joy not stay with me for the rest of the week
Why must it dissipate as soon as I wake up from sleep

I don’t know anymore
I’m just incredibly blank and empty
Really really empty
And it scares me
It’s never been this bad

Never

3ridan:

do you ever look around at the big crowds of people around you and realize everyone has a story and memories and family and troubles and achievements and a first kiss and a broken heart but you’ll never know any of it and every human life is really intricate and expansive but oh they’ve walked into a shop and you’ll never see them again and you’ll never know just what they were thinking 

Don’t be so kind, stranger. I’m not as great as you think.